Mediation works when two people can both speak freely and both intend to settle. It is the wrong tool when there has been abuse, when one of you is hiding money, or when one of you will not take part at all. These 7 questions tell you which describes your case.
Are you and your spouse able to communicate without it becoming hostile?
Mediation is not right for everyone, and finding that out three sessions in is expensive. These are the 6 things that actually predict whether it will work — and what each one tells you.
Mediation is a conversation. If every exchange turns hostile, the mediator spends the hours managing the conflict rather than resolving the issues — and you are paying for those hours either way.
It only works if both of you want out of the process. One spouse treating mediation as a delaying tactic while the other negotiates in good faith is worse than not mediating at all.
This is the one people underestimate. A mediator has no power to compel disclosure — no subpoenas, no discovery, no penalty for an incomplete answer. If you genuinely believe assets are being hidden, mediation is the wrong tool and a court's discovery powers are the right one.
Mediation produces an agreement neither side loves. If either of you needs to win, litigation is the honest answer, and it is better to know that before spending on a mediator.
The strongest single predictor. Couples who agree on what is fair and only need help converting that into terms a court will sign are the ones mediation serves best.
A dispute over one or two issues usually resolves in hours. A dispute over everything is a different process with a different price, and no mediator can compress it.
The screener also asks whether there is a history of domestic violence or coercive control. That answer is not scored against the others — it changes the recommendation outright. Mediation assumes two people who can negotiate as equals in the same room, and where one person holds power over the other, the process can reproduce that imbalance and call the result an agreement.
If that applies to you, the screener stops recommending a process and points you toward someone who can help safely. That is the right outcome even though it is not one divvi gets paid for.