Divorce mediation is a series of private sessions where a neutral, court-qualified mediator helps the two of you settle the terms of your divorce yourselves — custody, parent-time, support, property and debts — instead of a judge deciding for you. It is voluntary, confidential, and far cheaper and faster than litigating. With divvi, it is divviMediate: $2,500 for up to 6 hours with a qualified Utah mediator, and the agreement you reach becomes the divorce documents you file with the court.
Mediation is a negotiation run by a neutral third party. The mediator does not represent either spouse, does not take a side, and does not decide anything — their job is to help the two of you reach an agreement you both sign. It is less formal than people expect and far less adversarial than a hearing: there is no testimony, no cross-examination, and no ruling. One neutral, one conversation, one agreement.
That is the difference from hiring attorneys, where each of you retains someone whose job is to argue for one side. A mediator works with both of you at once, which is why the same neutral can help you both without a conflict of interest.
Most Utah divorce mediations follow the same shape:
Anything the two of you have to decide in a divorce can be mediated:
You do not have to agree on everything before you start. Mediation is for the issues you are stuck on; the ones you already agree on are simply written down.
Only once an answer is filed. Under Utah Code § 81-4-403, when your spouse files an answer contesting the petition, the remaining disputed issues are referred to mediation and the parties must attend at least one session before the case can proceed to trial. The requirement is to attend a session, not to settle.
If you both agree and sign a stipulation, no answer is filed and the requirement never applies — but many couples choose mediation voluntarily anyway, because it is faster, cheaper and less stressful than litigating, and it keeps the decisions in their hands.
No. An attorney is not required for mediation. A mediator is a neutral, not anyone's lawyer — they cannot give either of you legal advice or tell you what a judge would decide. If you want someone in your corner, that is a lawyer, and mediating does not stop you having one: you can bring an attorney or have one review the agreement before you sign it. Many people mediate with no lawyer at all.
Largely, yes. Utah treats communications made in mediation as confidential, which is what lets people say what they actually think and make offers without fear that a rejected proposal will be used against them later in court. There are narrow limits — for example, a threat of harm or evidence of child abuse is not protected — so bring the specifics of your situation to the call and the mediator will be precise about what applies.
The agreements you reach are written into your divorce paperwork — the Divorce Stipulation both spouses sign, and then the Findings and Decree the judge signs. With divvi those documents are generated for you from the terms you settled, in the order a Utah court expects, so mediation moves your case toward a signed decree rather than leaving you with notes and a to-do list. Utah still requires a 30-day waiting period after filing before any divorce is final.
Mediation needs two people who can negotiate safely and honestly. It is not the right room when there has been abuse or you are afraid of your spouse, when there is an active protective order, when one spouse is hiding money, or when one spouse will not participate at all. Say so on the call and divvi will tell you plainly that mediation is not your next step, and point you toward what is. In immediate danger, call 911; the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition line is 1-800-897-LINK (5465), 24 hours.
A neutral, court-qualified mediator meets with both spouses — usually by video, over one or more sessions — and helps them settle the terms of the divorce themselves: custody, parent-time, support, property and debts. The mediator does not take a side or decide anything. You work issue by issue until the open questions are settled, and the agreement is written up. With divvi (divviMediate, $2,500 for up to 6 hours), those terms flow straight into the divorce documents you file.
Anything a divorce has to decide: legal and physical custody, the parent-time schedule, child support (run against Utah's guideline), alimony, the house and other property, and how debts are divided. You do not have to agree on everything before you start — mediation is for the issues you are stuck on, and the ones you already agree on are simply written down.
Only once an answer is filed. Under Utah Code § 81-4-403, when a spouse files an answer contesting the petition, the remaining disputed issues are referred to mediation and the parties must attend at least one session before the case can proceed to trial. The requirement is to attend a session, not to settle. If you both agree and sign a stipulation, no answer is filed and the requirement never applies.
No. A mediator is a neutral, not anyone's lawyer, and an attorney is not required to mediate. The mediator cannot give either spouse legal advice or say what a judge would decide. If you want someone in your corner you can still have your own attorney — including having one review the agreement before you sign it — and mediating does not stop you.
Largely, yes. Utah treats communications made in mediation as confidential, which is what lets people speak candidly and make offers without fear a rejected proposal will be used against them in court. There are narrow limits — a threat of harm or evidence of child abuse is not protected — so raise the specifics of your situation and the mediator will be precise about what applies.
The agreements you reach are written into your divorce paperwork — the Stipulation both spouses sign, then the Findings and Decree the judge signs. With divvi those documents are generated from the terms you settled, in the order a Utah court expects, so mediation moves your case toward a signed decree. Utah still requires a 30-day waiting period after filing before a divorce is final.